Let’s Get Back to This

Well, well, well…

If it isn’t the person who has abandoned this space for an eternity it feels like. Whoops.

But on a real note, life with two kids, working, and just living life is a wild time ya’ll. I feel like some days, most days, I barely have time to breathe. Needless to say… life has been BUSY lately. Or maybe just busy for me because my brain is a literal dumpster fire.

Anyone else out there with that feeling?

Lately though, with the dumpster fire of a brain I’ve been trying to think of what I need or what I can do to get time to myself and really get the chaos out of there. That is also way easier as a thought than it is actually doing it because, hello mom guilt. I knew I had mom guilt with Tulsa and the kids we fostered but then I had Topper girl and WOOF it’s at an all time high. I have guilt for not spending the 1:1 time with Tulsa like I used to and then the guilt that Topper doesn’t really get the 1:1 that Tulsa got, and then the guilt that I have to work full time because life is expensive, so how the heck could I even get take a minute to myself? Also, don’t come at me for the grammar in these post if it’s off, that’s me and my life, okay? Thanks.

Anyways, this brain needs a break and space for me to just dump out all of the thoughts I have because let’s be real… they are clogging up the space I need to be present, function, and LIVE in my real life, not just survive.

So my goal here you might ask? Figure out a way to post at least once a week. Whether that’s just a bullet list of the random thoughts in my brain or a real thought out post about what’s been going on in my life. Because that is exactly what I created this space for and what I need it for. When Tacoma died my life was rocked, and this gave me a space to help make sense of it, and just word vomit without judgement. My life is not rocked, but it is a messy one and I still need this space to make sense of the world around me sometimes.

So anyways if you’ve read this far. Yay. If you stopped, see ya, I don’t blame you.

Ending this on a real note, my life is messy but I love it and I miss my son something super fierce, I hate pregnancy loss, the world is terrifying these days, and I wish everyone would just be a whole lot kinder and realize that something’s, most things, are not that deep.

XOXO,

Sammy